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I have a big problem..

1k views · started by Raivu ·
#1
I have a big problem..
so a lot of people generally have personality issues, or conflicts with themselves.
Here is mine: I'm too worried about everything.
I don't want to be, but I don't know how NOT to be. You see?

If someone asks me to do something, even if I hate them or don't even know them, I'll do it. I can't say "no" to someone. I can't speak up or ask for help or even go sharpen a pencil in public because I'm too damn worried about what people will think of me.

I don't want to be this way. It sucks away my personality.

How can I go about fixing this about myself?
#2
Worried? What do you think will happen? You think somebody's gonna come up and slit your throat for sharpening a pencil?
#3
Let me test you: Will you give me all your gold?
#4
FrozenCandy wrote:
Let me test you: Will you give me all your gold?


no. >.> But if you asked me in person...I'd still say no. I'd donate, yeah, but I wouldn't give it all to you.

@Vin: I don't know what I'm worried about, that's the bit that pisses me off.
#5
Raivu wrote:
so a lot of people generally have personality issues, or conflicts with themselves.
Here is mine: I'm too worried about everything.
I don't want to be, but I don't know how NOT to be. You see?

If someone asks me to do something, even if I hate them or don't even know them, I'll do it. I can't say "no" to someone. I can't speak up or ask for help or even go sharpen a pencil in public because I'm too damn worried about what people will think of me.

I don't want to be this way. It sucks away my personality.

How can I go about fixing this about myself?


I have the same thing. It's a combination of social anxiety disorder with general insecurities about what people will think of you. As for a fix, no clue bro, still working on my own issues with this but luckily it hasn't been that bad lately.
#6
Try working out, that usually helps with self-image.
Make sure to do it in a PUBLIC GYM.
#7
Raivu wrote:
no. >.> But if you asked me in person...I'd still say no. I'd donate, yeah, but I wouldn't give it all to you.

@Vin: I don't know what I'm worried about, that's the bit that pisses me off.


:D You see you said no, feeling better now?
Probably not... Still it was worth a try~
#8
You should go see a psychologist.
I mean you're talking to us about it, why not consult one?
#9
Torian wrote:
I have the same thing. It's a combination of social anxiety disorder with general insecurities about what people will think of you. As for a fix, no clue bro, still working on my own issues with this but luckily it hasn't been that bad lately.


It really gets on my nerves. I don't really know who I as a person is, because I'm too busy trying to please everybody else.

@Vin: I do work out. o.< Its not my self image I'm worried about, its myself in general, personality wise, that I'm worried about.


@FrozenCandy: xD I appreciate the effort.
#10
Torian wrote:
I have the same thing. It's a combination of social anxiety disorder with general insecurities about what people will think of you. As for a fix, no clue bro, still working on my own issues with this but luckily it hasn't been that bad lately.


Same here man. Freshman/sophomore year I had that and the fact I had been overly sheltered and was thus extremely socially awkward. I got my first girlfriend simply because she decided she liked. She introduced me to rock n roll(Van Halen) and my solution came from music(go figure) I decided to reconstruct myself based upon those I came to admire more than any one else.
A man once said that "Being a rock star is the intersection of who you are and who you want to be." I've literally built a personality based on my study of Jack Black, Johnny Depp, John Lennon, The Blues Brothers, Rurouni Kenshin, Jack Nicholson, and David Bowie. I don't act like them really its just I look at how they deal with themselves. Famous people are all just weirdos who exaggerate their weirdness to an extreme level and say "Screw you society." In the world of Slash "being a rock star is the intersection of who you are and who you want to be." or in that case who you are attempting to be rather than rock star. I just don't turn my persona off, it become who I am. It was weird at first because there are two yous in a sense but slowly you meld them.
You're still young. Um, no one knows who they are in high school but you generally figure something of who you are out by the end and start coming into your own. One thing to keep in mind I suppose is that everyone feel the same way as you mostly and if you put yourself out there and do things despite people they will respect you more simply because you've shown you are braver than them.
#11
ZenGenesis wrote:
You should go see a psychologist.
I mean you're talking to us about it, why not consult one?


Had different shrinks throughout the span of 10 years, they don't do fuck all if you unconsciously reject them.
#12
this is what you do. you just find a guy you don't like, walk right up to him and beat the shit out of him. im not talking bout one little punch, just knock the fuck out of him. then you will be more confident and it will be alot better. and make sure lots of people see this happen.
#13
Jdawg wrote:
this is what you do. you just find a guy you don't like, walk right up to him and beat the shit out of him. im not talking bout one little punch, just knock the fuck out of him. then you will be more confident and it will be alot better. and make sure lots of people see this happen.


This is the stupidest fucking thing I've heard in a long while.
Seriously.


In any case Raivu, I actually have the same issues. I'm constantly afraid people won't like me, and I don't really know how to say no if people ask me to do things. This why I tend to over work myself when it comes to almost any situation. I use to be really out going, I think shutting myself in really helped me develop social anxiety. My suggestion is really step away from the inside and go out more. Learn to say no to people. If you don't want to, don't do it. It's really hard in the beginning, but after a while you'll see improvement. Just remember, even if there are people out there that don't like you, there are a lot more that will. =)
#14
CL0V3R wrote:
This is the stupidest fucking thing I've heard in a long while.
Seriously.


what gives you the right to judge me for something you've never tried? it worked for me. and i know it will work for him. i'm just giving my advice.
#15
Raivu wrote:
so a lot of people generally have personality issues, or conflicts with themselves.
Here is mine: I'm too worried about everything.
I don't want to be, but I don't know how NOT to be. You see?

If someone asks me to do something, even if I hate them or don't even know them, I'll do it. I can't say "no" to someone. I can't speak up or ask for help or even go sharpen a pencil in public because I'm too damn worried about what people will think of me.

I don't want to be this way. It sucks away my personality.

How can I go about fixing this about myself?


I use to be this way from like 7th grade to 9th grade because of something that happened to me in 7th grade, then finally i was like, fuck this..

And i started doing what ever i wanted and i started harassing people who use to harass me.
#16
Jdawg wrote:
CL0V3R wrote:
This is the stupidest fucking thing I've heard in a long while.
Seriously.



what gives you the right to judge me for something you've never tried? it worked for me. and i know it will work for him. i'm just giving my advice.


The fact that you don't know how to quote properly? Lol
Because that's just a dickish move and actually just shows how insecure and pathetic you are. To go and beat someone's ass just to make your self feel like your tough shit is retarded.
#17
CL0V3R wrote:
The fact that you don't know how to quote properly? Lol
Because that's just a dickish move and actually just shows how insecure and pathetic you are. To go and beat someone's ass just to make your self feel like your tough shit is retarded.


yet you diss me because i accidentally messed up the quote. hmm i guess your alot cooler than me :/
#18
Jdawg wrote:
yet you diss me because i accidentally messed up the quote. hmm i guess your alot cooler than me :/


Glad you can admit your flaws and see my sheer awesome. :D
Also you didn't dispute my post. ;o
#19
CL0V3R wrote:
Glad you can admit your flaws and see my sheer awesome. :D
Also you didn't dispute my post. ;o


*bows. jk no but seriously it may not have been the best idea and i may be dumb for doing it, so i admit your right before i get someone else hating me. but i was young when i did it. so you can't really blame me. probably what messed me up so much in the first place. now look at me. bout to be 21, going to iraq for 9 months next may. got a 1 year old daughter. noone listen to me!!! ever im a bad influence.

to stay on topic: just take deep breaths when you feel like that and think about everyone elses flaws, cause apparently ALOT of people feel like that too. just know your not the only one and it will help.
#20
Jdawg wrote:
this is what you do. you just find a guy you don't like, walk right up to him and beat the shit out of him. im not talking bout one little punch, just knock the fuck out of him. then you will be more confident and it will be alot better. and make sure lots of people see this happen.


I've taken 13 years of MMA, and the one thing they taught us was "do not attack anybody unless they attack you. If you do, you're just as low as any other careless nobody, and you're here because you know you're better than that".
So although it may work for some people, I'd rather not give it a try.
#21
I also have the same thing but sometimes i really don't care but if i don't know the people around me i would just sit there.
#22
Think of tommorow as a good day,clear your mind.
#23
Raivu wrote:
I've taken 13 years of MMA, and the one thing they taught us was "do not attack anybody unless they attack you. If you do, you're just as low as any other careless nobody, and you're here because you know you're better than that".
So although it may work for some people, I'd rather not give it a try.


try reading the next thing i posted. it is pretty helpful
#24
The same way you 'cure' OCD, you have to take little steps at a time. A bit of it is being passive. You try to avoid uncomfortable positions - for example, someone's feelings getting hurt, someone getting angry, etc. To you, it's easier to feel very depressed than have someone else feel even a little bit depressed due to something you did (e.g. denying them a request).

It's fairly common. It just takes practice to get over. Start with small denials ("No, I won't sharpen your pencil for you.") and keep working up. If you have self-esteem issues, it will be even harder, and it may take trips to the psychologist to get over said issues.
#25
I guess the only way you have to try and break it is just do things you would not normally do. Like don't say yes to everything they ask you or make up a excuse and say you have plans and can't do it.
I know how you are, I have this problem. But I'm slowly getting to the point where I can just say no if I don't want to do it for somebody.
#26
GAMEchief wrote:
The same way you 'cure' OCD, you have to take little steps at a time. A bit of it is being passive. You try to avoid uncomfortable positions - for example, someone's feelings getting hurt, someone getting angry, etc. To you, it's easier to feel very depressed than have someone else feel even a little bit depressed due to something you did (e.g. denying them a request).

It's fairly common. It just takes practice to get over. Start with small denials ("No, I won't sharpen your pencil for you.") and keep working up. If you have self-esteem issues, it will be even harder, and it may take trips to the psychologist to get over said issues.


babysteps to the door
babysteps down the hallway
(If you get the reference, you win my heart)

It just sucks it takes forever. I'm on a good start though. This morning I was singing "Aeroplane" out loud.
#27
Test: can you donate 1k lg? Your problem sounds like one even I face. Heck I even faced an encounter today that I couldn't say no to. But guess what I'm not doing it again.
#28
Raivu wrote:
babysteps to the door
babysteps down the hallway
(If you get the reference, you win my heart)

It just sucks it takes forever. I'm on a good start though. This morning I was singing "Aeroplane" out loud.


Try to keep in mind that the people who hate you for not being so easily persuaded to do things their way are not worth your time. Come to think of it, when you end up doing something you're not totally agreeable to, you'll just end up disliking them yourself. It's all about keeping a level head.

And you're not alone. I went through the same thing when I was younger. Now I still kind of double check myself whenever I feel the urge to easily give in to someone's request even if I don't want to.
#29
Try participating in a really vigorous summer program, that puts you out in teh middle of some 2nd world country and that'll set you straight. I found it hard to worry about what others thought of me when I was worrying about that night's dinner.
#30
yigh wrote:
Try participating in a really vigorous summer program, that puts you out in teh middle of some 2nd world country and that'll set you straight. I found it hard to worry about what others thought of me when I was worrying about that night's dinner.


haha. I think summer camp in the boy scouts as a kid is what fueled my awkward feelingness.
#31
I have that same problem, Raivu.

=[
#32
Social anxiety + a huge case of self paranoia... I have it too.
#33
Its anxiety; it affects some of us more then others; be happy that you don't have to go though some of the physical symptoms you can get because they are dehibilitating.